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The Russian Wank Experiment
'The Russian Wank Experiment ' Russian researchers in the late 1940s made five people wank non stop for fifteen days using an experimental gas based stimulant. They were kept in a sealed environment to carefully monitor their oxygen intake so the gas didn't kill them, since it was toxic in high concentrations. This was before closed circuit cameras so they had only microphones and 5 inch thick glass porthole sized windows into the chamber to monitor them. The chamber was stocked with porn magazines, a large poster of Katie Hopkins in a string bikini, cots to sleep on, running water and toilet, and enough dried food to last all five for over a month. The test subjects were prisoners arrested for listening to too much Justin Bieber during World War II. Everything was fine for the first five days; the subjects hardly complained having been promised (falsely) that they would go to Disneyland with VIP passes if they submitted to the test and wanked for 30 days. Their conversations and activities were monitored and it was noted that they continued to talk about their past sex lives, and the general tone of their conversations took on a more perverted aspect after the 4 day mark. After five days they stopped talking to each other and just sat fapping quietly. After nine days the first of them started screaming because he set his dick on fire from the friction caused by fapping too hard and he ran the length of the chamber repeatedly yelling like a mad man until his dick and balls burned off completely, and he dropped dead because he couldn't wank anymore. The most surprising thing about this behavior is how the other captives reacted to it... or rather didn't react to it. They just sat there and continued to wank. Then 2 of the captives took down the poster of Katie Hopkins in a string bikini while still fapping and glued it face first onto the glass porthole using their faeces as pritt stick, so the researchers started fapping too. On the morning of the 14th day the researchers announced through the intercom inside of the chamber: "We are opening the chamber to test the microphones; step away from the door and carry on fapping. Compliance will earn all of you a Happy Meal." To their surprise they heard a single phrase in a calm voice response: "The microphones are working fine. Now sod off, we're wanking here." Debate broke out among the researchers and the pharmaceutical corporation funding the research. Unable to provoke any more response using the intercom it was finally decided to open the chamber at midnight on the fifteenth day. The chamber was flushed of the stimulant gas and filled with fresh air and immediately the test subjects kicked the wall down and demanded they turn the gas back on. Three of the five subjects were still alive, but were malnourished from wanking too much and no one could rightly call the state that any of them in 'life.' Most shocking of all was that the porn magazines left in there for them had not even been touched. Most of the soldiers on site were Russian special operatives at the facility, but still many refused to return to the chamber to remove the test subjects. They continued to scream to be left in the chamber and demanded that the gas be turned back on, lest they stop wanking... To everyone's surprise the test subjects put up a fierce fight in the process of being removed from the chamber. All the soldiers got jizzed on and ran out, wailing "EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!" Then the surviving three test subjects were told they could carry on breathing the gas through surgical gas masks to bribe them and were taken to the surgical operating room while still fapping. One of the survivors about to be operated on for some reason couldn't talk because he was wearing his surgical gas mask so he was unable to object to surgery, and he only reacted by shaking his head violently in disapproval when the anesthetic gas was brought near him, which would involve removing the wank gas from him. He shook his head yes when someone suggested, reluctantly, they try the surgery without anesthetic, and did not react for the entire 6 hour surgery but just lay there fapping. The surgeon presiding stated repeatedly that it should be medically possible for the patient to still be alive. One terrified nurse assisting the surgery stated that she had seen the patients mouth curl into a smile several times, whenever his eyes met hers. When the surgery ended the subject looked at the surgeon and began to wheeze loudly, attempting to talk through the surgical gas mask. Assuming this must be something of drastic importance the surgeon had a pen and pad fetched so the patient could write his message with one hand while fapping with the other. It was simple. "Do I get a happy ending after this?" The other two test subjects were given the same surgery, both without anesthetic as well. Although they had to be injected with a paralytic for the duration of the operation. The surgeon found it impossible to perform the operation while the patients laughed and fapped continuously. Once paralyzed the subjects could only follow the attending researchers with their eyes. The paralytic cleared their system in an abnormally short period of time and they were soon fapping again. All three subjects were placed back into the chamber awaiting determination as to what should be done with them. The researchers, facing the wrath of their corporate 'benefactors' for having failed the stated goals of their project considered euthanizing the surviving subjects. The commanding officer, an ex-KGB instead saw potential, and wanted to see what would happen if they remained on the gas. The portable gas cylinders were running empty by this point and two of the subjects died from going too long without wanking. The one remaining subject removed his surgical gas mask and started screaming to be sealed in now. The commander gave the order to seal the chamber with the subject inside, as well as 3 researchers. They all agreed and went to the chamber and all fapped together. Then one of the researchers asked the subject, "How did you fap for fifteen straight days without stopping? What are you anyway? Are you even human?" The subject smiled. "Have you forgotten so easily?" The subject asked. "We are you. We are what you yearn to do in your deepest animal mind when you're looking at sexy posters of Katie Hopkins, but the only difference is, I don't need any posters of Katie Hopkins. A million different pictures of Katie Hopkins posing in her undergarments doesn't compare with the gas. In fact," he went on, "I don't care if Katie Hopkins walked in here right now, pranced around naked then bent over in front of me spreading her butt cheeks, nothing can beat the gas... you hear me?... NOTHING." But the graphic description by the sole subject made the 3 researchers jizz at a pneumatic rate, the one sitting opposite the subject jizzed right into his mouth, choking him to death. The 3 researchers died from over-climaxing, one of them uttering his last words, "Katie... Hopkins... naked..." So with no survivors, how did this story get out? Well, actually there was one survivor, the other subject who sat fapping next to the one who choked to death. I was that subject, and I lived to tell the tale. And you see what I did there in the story? I made you visualize Katie Hopkins naked... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Category:NSFW Category:Satire Category:Originally on Trollpasta Wiki